Dear Cat-cat:

Here are all the previous "Dear Rudy-cat" and "Dear Sami-cat" letters I have written.  I wanted them all to be in one place. 

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Dear Rudy-cat: Thank you for not yakking while we were gone. I really appreciate that. You get extra snacks tonight.

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Dear Rudy-cat: last night when you were trying to save Bently & I from whatever scary monster was in the house and you were working on digging a tunnel under the closed bedroom door to get to us? Yeah... we weren't in that room, but I appreciate the effort. Oh, and don't feel bad about the carpet - we need to replace it anyway.

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Dear Rudy-cat: Although I am impressed with your dedication to training for the Kitty-Triathlon (running, jumping, toy-mouse fighting) - I would appreciate it if you could schedule your practice times for, say, any time other than 3:30am and 5:30am. Thank you.

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Rudy-cat likes to lick vegetables. Rudy-cat likes to lick her butt. Therefore... vegetables taste like cat butt. :) I always KNEW there was a reason I didn't like vegetables.

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Dear Rudy-cat: I think cats are supposed to be stealthy. You are not stealthy. I can hear you walking from across the room... how do you ever expect to sneak up on a bird or a mouse when you are noisy like that? We will schedule time for 'stealth training'. You will soon be ninja-like.

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Someday... someday we will be able to put the toilet paper actually on the toilet paper holder without Rudy-cat unrolling all of it.
What's odd is that she leaves the paper towel roll alone.
Note to self: toilet paper is much more fun to play with than paper towels.
Which also explains why kids "t-p" things rather than... "p-t" things.

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Dear Rudy-cat: I am so happy to see that you know how to open the kitchen cupboards. This is fantastic! You are SOOOO smart!. (Note to self: get those cabinet clasps to kitty-proof the cupboard doors.)

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Dear Rudy-cat: Thank you for yakking while I was outside on a walk. That is the bestest present EVER to come home to. Also, thank you for not yakking on the easy to clean kitchen floor. I really appreciate cleaning carpet SO much more.

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Dear Rudy-cat: What is wrong with you? I mean... what is wrong with your eyebrows? Why are you losing your eyebrow fur? You look kind of creepy. Maybe you should stop washing your face so much.

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Dear Rudy-cat: STOP!!!! Don't like the knife! Knives are sharp. I know you don't understand the concept of 'sharp' yet, however, let's not start with cutting your tongue off, okay?

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Dear Rudy-cat: Hiccups? How can you have hiccups? BOO! Are they gone? No? Okay - how about I help you hold your breath? Okay, not a good idea. Maybe you should just run around the house for a while.

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Dear Rudy-cat: That is an exercise band, NOT a chew toy. Please don't chew my exercise band in half... that would make it even more difficult for me to want to work out.

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Dear Rudy-cat: That is a lamp, not a tree. There is no reason to climb a lamp. Trust me.

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Dear Rudy-cat: Why does your fur smell like maple syrup? Really, cat, why? I kind of think we should wash you.... but you smell kind of good. I guess you aren't sticky like maple syrup... so it's probably okay.

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Dear Sami-cat, those are fish. You can't get to them through the glass. Trust me. But keep circling... It is kind of cute.

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Dear Rudy-cat: Why do you have such an angry tail? I pet you and your tail becomes angry and whips around from side to side. Sami-cat doesn't have an angry tail... I pet her and she rubs and purrs.

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Dear Rudy-cat: Why are you staring at the door and meowing? Both your people are home. Did you think one of us left?

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Dear Sami-cat: Why did you put your nose into my powder makeup then exhale? You do look really cute now that you have makeup on though.... oh wait, you don't like it? Okay, let me wash your face.

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Dear Sami-cat: Please don't lick the soap. Icky. Oh, and chewing on the razor is probably a bad idea, too.

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Dear Sami-cat: Why are you in the washing machine? Did you jump in on purpose? Or did you fall in?

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Dear Rudy-cat: NOOOOO!! The TV is NOT a tree! Do NOT climb the TV!

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Dear Rudy-cat: If you could talk, you know, really talk out loud with people words. For some reason, I think your voice and phrasing would sound a lot like Mitch Hedberg.

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Dear Rudy-cat: Thank you for chewing through ANOTHER set of earbuds. Do you hate it that much when I leave to go for a run? If so, I can stop exercising. I would do that for you. :)
          Dear Mama-Nancy: Can you please buy me a cat leash and take me when you exercise? I promise to leave the earbuds alone. Please.....and ps please leave Sami-cat at home .

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Dear Sami-cat: Thank you for the wonderful conversation this morning as I was getting ready for work - you sure were talkative. If only I knew what you were saying... I bet you were telling me about all the fun stuff you were going to do today while I am gone - chasing Rudy-cat, napping, eating, pooping. Either that or it was your plan to take over the world.

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Dear Sami-cat: You cannot be a successful hunter if you keep meowing and giving everyone a play-by-play account of what you just did and the next moves you are going to make. Learn from Rudy-cat, she is a good QUIET hunter.

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